Please pray...

Please, join me in praying... for clarity of thought/purpose towards the issues that face our nation today and as Christians. My mind can not even begin to grasp the complexity of the many trials and struggles we face. I can list a whole number of different issues...that in their complexity it is hard to choose a side to be on. I love this quote from Irresistible Revolution,"Sometimes we speak to change the world; other times we speak to keep the world from changing us." My sincere hope is to be so in tune to what God's will is for my life and this nation that I know without a doubt the role I am to play in it.

Many gray areas exist. It is hard to know what to do.

For example, in the last two days, I got two interesting emails.

This one is a quote from http://www.hrw.org/ (Human Rights Watch)...I signed up to receive weekly updates on a variety of Human Rights issues after reading Irresistible Revolution...

"Upon taking office, President Obama should immediately renounce the Bush administration's abusive approach to fighting terrorism and embrace new policies that respect basic rights...We expect President Obama to take rapid steps to change course - to close Guantanamo, end the military commissions, and abolish the CIA's abusive detention program."
---Here we see an organization fighting to release those that in some form or fashion were connected to the terrorist attacks of 911.

This is the a quote from the second email:
"I'm writing to let you know about a terrible piece of legislation called "The Freedom of Choice Act" (FOCA). FOCA would establish the right to abortion as a fundamental right (like the right to free speech) and wipe away every restriction on abortion nationwide. It will eradicate state and federal abortion laws that the majority of Americans support and prevent states from enacting similar protective measures in the future."
---Here we see an organization fighting for the sanctity of life...an unborn child.

One group hoping Obama would respect the humanity of those individuals caught up in the culture war. One group hoping to oppose Obama's stand on abortion.

Are you confused, yet? I mean here we have a group fighting for the basic rights of people that adamantly are hostile toward America/Americans...and yet don't say a word about the millions of babies that are aborted each year. Then we have several groups that support the sanctity of life, and yet say nothing about the abuses happening around the world.

I believe ALL LIFE IS PRECIOUS! So why do I feel so torn when I read emails like this. Who is right? Who is wrong? It makes me think of Joshua 5:13, "Now when Joshua was near Jericho, he looked up and saw a man standing in front of him with a drawn sword. Joshua went up to him and asked, 'Are you for us or for our enemies?' 'Neither,' he replied, 'but as commander of the army of the Lord I have come.'" Do you every wonder what to do? What to believe minus the media's spin on it?

I have been so blessed today to see Obama trying to bridge the gap and lead a very diverse nation. In Obama's spirit of unity, it was comforting to see Rick Warren lead the opening prayer today. His book, The Purpose Driven Life, inspired me and came at a time that I needed spiritual renewal. I wonder though how Obama will continue to be a beacon of hope. I was so discouraged as I watched this youtube clip http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cdeub37MGBc&feature=related. It breaks my heart to see such heated words. Mrs. Rosen's anger at the audacity of Obama choosing Rick Warren. Then in the next breath saying, she wants to open the lines of communication.

This hostility towards others and fear of someone who is different from you will never bring healing to this nation. May I be someone open to walking a mile in someone else's shoes and extending the hand of hope that we can disagree but not be disagreeable.

Reflections from Esther Study

It has been pretty amazing taking the time out to do my homework each day for the Esther study (by Beth Moore). Between that and teaching Bible Hour at church, I've found myself constantly in the Old Testament...and BOY has it been inspiring, refreshing, comforting.... For some reason we tend to avoid the Old Testament. It is like we get to the story of King David/Solomon and then skip right past the prophets...to a precious child born in a manager. I understand. Would you get excited if your Sunday school teacher said, "Oh, next week we will begin a long series over the prophet Obadiah."
Now, I know this will sound a little weird, but last week's lesson for Bible Hour was over Jeremiah...so I began to read about the prophet, Jeremiah. Now you have to realize I've been teaching the Bible in chronological order...somewhat for weeks. We studied Moses, than Joshua, then the Judges, then the Kings and now the Prophets. Realizing, of course, I have to make it very simple because I'm teaching 3 yr. olds- 1st grade.
So as I'm reading Jeremiah, I'm thinking, "How can I explain what a prophet does?" Then I go to MOPS that morning, and our coordinator shares the verse out of...GUESS WHAT? Jeremiah "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11) Her testimony was AMAZING...drug abuse, abortion, domestic violence and yet all the time God is wooing her to come back to Him...convincing her that He has a plan, a future for her. It gave me hope.
So I go back to reading Jeremiah again that night, and read about God continuing to tell His people "Come back to me!" and how they continually fail to...choosing to worship idols instead. Until ultimately the destruction of the Temple where the Babylonians took everything precious and sacred to God's people away...the Ark of the Covenant...even the pillars...EVERYTHING...including the people. So God's people where then called "Exiles." They were scattered like seed...forced to live in countries far away from everything they had ever known. --Can you relate? I can now.
In so many ways, I left Jerusalem (aka Abilene, Texas/Bible Belt) and went to a foreign land. I felt God's presence so strong when I was there. My brothers and sisters in Christ lifted me up when I was too weak to even pray. They were a huge support network, especially during Travis' surgeries and constant chronic back pain. MOPS mentors took me under their wings...an AMAZING church with incredible elders. It was convenient to go to "The Temple." I felt like I was growing in my walk. Everything was good. Interestly, though, how distance can make a huge difference. I can only image how the Exiles felt being so far away.
Two of the most precious people to me there in Abilene, I can count on one hand the times they have called me while living in O'Fallon, IL. It crushed my spirit. I mean how do you tell someone that simply getting a card from them in the mail or eating lunch with them meant the world to you? I cry out, "What did I do wrong?" So I have felt like a scattered seed...thrown to the wind...trying to grow where the military placed us, for several months. Then as I read on in Jeremiah, I came across this verse, "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness. I will build you up again." (Jeremiah 31: 3-4) Can you relate? Oh, how wonderful God is! He is rebuilding me!
Eventually, the "Exiles" were able to go back to rebuild the Temple. The Persians conquered the Babylonians and under King Cyrus they slowly made their way back. Esther and her people were some of those displaced Jews. Did you know the book of Esther never mentions "God"? Weird, isn't it. Beth makes the statement that though God isn't mentioned, He was definitely there. She shared how there have been times in her life, in midst of her book writing, where God seemed to be silent, distant. She thought perhaps she had done something wrong. Then after much seeking Him, the flood gates opened of His love, His mercy...a huge renewal in her life. In some ways I think that is beginning to happen for me again. Jeremiah 29:12 says,"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
In the pages of the Old Testament I have found hope. "This wild God of mine, who knows my every thought and intention, who sees my every failure and sin, loves me." pg. 192, Captivating by Stasi Eldredge. Other quotes from the book, Captivating, that I love...
-pg. 197 "The story of your life is also the story of the long and passionate pursuit of your heart by the One who knows you best and loves you most."
-pg. 208 "He often takes us aside from every other source of comfort so that He alone can have our heart's attention."
I think I will continue to linger in the Old Testament for awhile...perhaps some of you will join me there.

Confession...

No, I'm not going to confess my deepest, darkest secrets! Most of you know them anyway. LOL

I will admit though that I'm feeling less overwhelmed since my last post. I don't know. I guess it was so crazy making it through December...so much to do and so little time...that I needed to be able to breathe a little. I came back from the holidays with this huge burden of, "Oh, I need to blog about making a gingerbread house with Aunt Niese, then there was our trip to the Ice House at Opryland, and then there was actual Christmas, then there was those cute hats my mom bought the girls, ...." It is crazy. I can't blog about every great memory or latest funny thing the girls have done. There are way too many. I'm thankful to even have the time to take the pictures.

So I admit, I'm a MESS! I can't do everything! I can't even go to the gym lately because I hurt my foot wearing cheap shoes. So if you can accept the fact that I am not perfect, then I will continue to blog. I may not be funny, or witty, or all-inspiring, but it is nice to share. Also, in my defense...I've become passionate about helping out with Bible Hour at our church. I wanted to post two pictures of things I've been working on. I made my own "Ark of the Covenant" for $2.50 from Christmas items 75% off, and I also made a "dozen" disciples and tribes of Israel. We are trying to get the children to memorize the 12 disciples and somewhat understand the 12 tribes of Israel so I thought of having these little men in egg cartons. They are goofy...I know, but I have enjoyed seeing the children's eyes light up as they carry the Ark or play with the disciples. I hope the disciples don't mind being put on a dozen wooden eggs. Does GRACE cover that? LOL Also, I thought I would share that Ellie is now 5 mths. old. It is going by way to fast, and she is keeping me so busy. The unfortunate thing with parenting is we make the mistake of "blinking" and before we now it they are grown.

Signing Off...

In some ways it saddens me to say this, but I think I'm going to quit blogging for a little while. I'll still love catching up on everyone else's, but for now I need a break. Oh, I have some wonderful memories from Christmas to share with you or I would love to post about Ellie rolling around like crazy and eating cereal for the first time...but those thoughts/feelings won't be seen in a blog like setting quite yet.
I guess my heart has just been heavy with reflection...wondering whether I have my priorities straight... I guess my change of heart happened as Christmas cards came in this year. Oh, to actually have a letter...something tangible to hold...it seems so "old fashioned" now with email, facebook and blogs...but I tell you they meant the world to me...especially those who took the time to write a personal message inside or those from my precious Senior Saints...the generation not so computer savvy. I think of precious Neil McDonald back in Wichita Falls, Texas sharing of her recent health problems. Gayla Pope sharing of her battle with cancer. I wanted so badly to seat down with them and share a cup of coffee and just talk...but everything seems so busy. Life is so busy in fact that I can count on one hand the people I call or that call me on a weekly basis...and two of those are my mother and mother-in-law...the other my dear, precious friend, Lynn, who I have loved like a sister for almost nine years...interestingly distance never made a difference for her. We haven't lived in the same place for more than 6 years, and yet she calls me almost every week. Perhaps it is the New Year that has caused my heart and mind to wander. I've been wondering what true friendship really looks like and even what true Christianity looks like...somewhere along the way I've gotten confused. A book that has really disturbed me and caused me to hope to break out of the box I've found myself in is Irresistible Revolution, by Shane Claiborne. Here is a quote from his book, "We can admire and worship Jesus without doing what He did. We can applaud what he preached and stood for without caring about the same things. We can adore the cross without taking up ours. I had come to see that the great tradegy in the church is not that rich Christians do not care about the poor but that rich Christians do not know the poor." Before you blow off the last sentence, "Oh, I'm not rich." Then start looking at the people Shane is talking about. If you have food, transportation, shelter, and clothing...then you meet the category for being "rich." If you are brave and not afraid to change or be challenged watch this clip on youtube. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPANKUHabx4&feature=related

The Jesse Tree

Looking for an AMAZING way to share the real meaning of Christmas with your children? Then buy the book...The Advent Jesse Tree: Devotions for Children and Adults to prepare for the coming of the Christ Child at Christmas. It is a very simple book with 25 devotions taken throughout the Bible that ultimately lead up to the birth of Christ. Each night you do a devotion, an ornament is hung on the tree to symbolize that particular message. For example, when we talked about Noah's Ark, I had found a miniature Noah's ark ornament. Some ornaments are homemade...some bought. I started this about three years ago, when Carlie was only two. This year truly has been special, because the girls are older and have really gotten into it. You can simply read the devotion and hang the ornament...or go further with games, songs, drama, etc. In years past, we have actually set up a tent in the living room to describe when God called Abraham to leave his country...to turning out all the lights and using flashlights to describe the creation story...then God said, "Let there be light."
Here are some highlights from this year:
* The first devotion is creation, and last year I actually found a "globe" ornament. A few days after the devotion, Mollie was carrying around the globe ornament...singing, "He's got the whole world in His hands..." SO PRECIOUS...then CRASH! Apparently, Mollie didn't have the "Whole World" in her hands. LOL The ornament crashed onto the floor in a million pieces. Here I come Hobby Lobby.
* Then one night we decided to make Joseph's coat of many colors. We got out clear contact paper and tore all sorts of colored tissue paper and stuck it onto the contact paper...then put another piece of contact paper on the back (sealing it somewhat), and cut out the shape of a coat. It looked really cool, but the amazing part was when we hung it on the tree. The colored lights made the tissue paper almost translucent...really beautiful! Then Carlie made several paper doll dresses. LOTS of FUN!
* The funniest was two nights ago, when we were talking about David and the ornament was suppose to be a slingshot. I didn't have that ornament so I found a rubber band. After the devotion, I got the rubber band and some cotton balls. We pretended like Travis was Goliath and practice shooting him...which lead to wrestling...a BLAST. But perhaps the funniest was watching Ellie get excited watching them. She started talking and kicking those legs...almost like "Let me have a chance. I can bust ole Goliath up, too."

I'm connected to The Network!

Yes, I'm now connected to "The Network"...Verizon Wireless. Santa (aka Travis) thought I finally needed a cell phone. So if you have Verizon...tell me ASAP, because we can talk all the time for FREE. My other precious friends will have to use my anytime minutes or wait till I get home.
It was funny. The service guy was totally shocked I had never had a cell phone before.
Travis said I had to read the owner's manual cover to cover, but I'm hoping to get my super tech savvy sister-in-law, Lanie, to help me get some cool ringtones, plug in my numbers, etc. during the Christmas break.
Speaking of precious girlfriends, here is the 2008 Christmas Bunko picture I missed with some dear friends back in Abilene. Lori and I began this group almost 4 years ago, and I attended the last 3 Christmas ones. So it made me sad not to be there this year, but so happy to see such a precious time continuing.
You know it is things like starting a Bunko group, a Bible study with dear friends, joining Facebook...that keep us connected...keep us part of a community...interlinked, leaning on each other. Now, in O'Fallon I'm so thankful that I try to always be inclusive vs. exclusive...because their comes a time when we are all "The New Kid" and being invited to something really means a lot. So if you have a Christmas party coming up or an ornament exchange...think of someone that is new and invite her. It can truly make a huge difference. We all want to be pursued, captivating to someone. I know I've appreciate all the sweet gestures, kind words that have come my way.

Really cute...

Well, I have to brag on "practically my sister-in-law" Libby Barker. You can view her blog from mine. She is actually my sister-in-law's sister...so what is that to me??? Anyway, Libby is just an AMAZING woman, and has recently started doing photography. So over Thanksgiving break, my sister-in-law, Lanie Walters, mentioned Libby could take some snapshots of us. I was thinking, "Oh, that would be nice." Never expecting that Libby would do an ABSOLUTE INCREDIBLE job. I mean we dressed for a day at the farm there in Paduch, Kentucky...rode in the golf carts, ran down to the lake...basically just had a blast...then a last minute "photo shoot"???

We were all mismatched. Travis broke the chair. I mean just typical stuff for our clan. Hence, why we don't normally do the professional picture thing. Boy, did Libby have an amazing eye, though. I know I keep saying "AMAZING." I just can't get over how Libby turned our shambles into a masterpiece. I just have to share one of my favorite photos she took. So rarely does a camera truly, in my opinion, capture the essence of my girls and Libby did.

Libby, you are SO PRECIOUS to us! We just love you!